And it, more or less, feels good.
Good to make theatre that maybe not everyone will like, and is definitely a bit rough around the edges and in need of more technical rehearsal time (because bloody hell, 150ish interrelated spreadsheets functioned but I forgot to include one very important line of instructions for the audience),
But-
Theatre that feels like it needs to be live. Not theatre that, ultimately, could just be turned into a half-decent movie, where the catch-up is just as vibrant as the original.
Theatre that is a ritual of being present in the same space as other people; perhaps intriguing and moving at the same time, or even funny and sweet. Beautiful, for the people in the space.
Theatre that requires, allows, and in some ways enables the focus for half an hour that has - frankly - been a bit of an issue for me in lockdown's multi-tab world. Even while sweating languidly under a mask and layers of heavy black clothes that should have been less sweltering in September.
Yeah, it was improvised and not perfect. Maybe the reviewers will be apathetic to it, or find it too strange, and I definitely care about their record of the performance more than I'd like. But it felt like a good show.
CN Lester, Erika Gundesen, and Hannah Gardiner did amazing things to create an entirely improvised soundworld and story about a hive mind fleeing its Crisis-ridden homeworld. It felt different now to when it started in late 2019. We're maybe going to be able to keep the project going in the near future.
I even managed to control my pre-performance nervous sipping.
While acknowledging that this attitude leads to many bad things, that there are many things still looming in the world of the arts and beyond, and how many of the old problems are still very much with us:
The Work is back.
Making moments with our audiences, and have seen very clearly what screens can do (and thus what they struggle with, and we can do live).
Hopefully guiding people towards at least some things with a few strangers that might have value to them.
Or at least towards something with, y'know, The Thing. That thing that's not quite covered by 'beauty' or 'spiritual' or 'engaging' or 'entertaining', but if you're reading this, you probably know what I mean.
It feels good.
Thanks for reading these scribbled-out thoughts. Just felt important to write them down now, not later.
If you want to join us online, we do have a broadcast on Thursday. Tickets start at just £1, and we'll show a bit more of the systems behind the show.
But for now - go and support theatre and artists, wherever they may be.